Paul Lynde
"What a genius!"--Scott Thompson (on the Kids in the Hall)

Welcome to the wonderful world of Paul Lynde. I constructed this page on this particular day on purpose. (The 22nd anniversary of his passing)  If you are one of those people who hate practical jokers, then this tribute page is not for you. This page is dedicated entirely to possibly the most memorable practical jokers of all time from Bewitched (Uncle Arthur). If you care to remember Paul in a different way, say by his work on I Dream of Jeannie (as Mr. Kerr) or the Munsters (Dr. Dudley), I think I can handle that.  (I added him as on Jeannie as Com Porter after I initially started this page.)
The man known as Paul Lynde was born in Mount Vernon, Ohio on June 13, 1926 and sadly died at the age of just 55 on January 10, 1982 from a massive heart attack. (The autopsy said that he had the heart of an 85-year-old man when he died.)
Finding out that Paul had been dead since 1982 (exactly five weeks before I was born!) came as quite a shock to me. I was hoping maybe to meet him some day. Seeing as how I obviously could not do that, I left flowers and a note to him at a few days after I started this page.
I have plenty of Paul quotes from some, but not nearly all of the different shows that he was involved with. I also quote from the brilliant work he did on Hollywood Squares. (All of these are done by scenes)

*Updated for the 30th anniversary of Mr. Lynde's passing*
Here are some quotes (words in print are quotes from Mr. Lynde):

TonyKurtSandy's Tribute to Paul Lynde
All of you mortals repeat after me: Yagga-Zusie-Yagga-Zusie-Yagga-Zusie-Zim
This page was last updated on: April 15, 2017
Selected Scene 1 Samantha, Serena, Arthur and Tabitha have all lost their powers Uncle Arthur is trying unsuccessfully to light a match without using witchcraft Tricky little devil. I know it's a match. After all it's on a short stick and it has a little red top. But how do you light it without witchcraft?

A few minutes pass by then suddenly, he thinks he has it figured out Wait a it is. "Close cover before striking." So simple. He closes the matchbook then begins pounding the match and screaming LIGHT!  He finally gives up. Must be faulty!

Later on, Sam takes Arthur and Serena out to see their new place of employment Looks like a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to work there

Their new manager is annoyed because Arthur and Serena are waving to the crowd that has gathered around to watch them make Chocolate-Nut-Dipped Bananas My good fellow, we find that we can both dip and wave

Selected Scene 2 Endora has made a house appear out of nowhere. Arthur wants her house to vanish completely Resign yourself, Sally Sunshine, you've just moved out!

Selected Scene 3 Samantha tries to get Uncle Arthur's mind off his problems by teaching him how to drive. She mentions that everything is automatic now. Uncle Arthur almost gets them into an accident with another car, but Sam uses he magic to divert the oncoming car. (Why didn't you stop?) You said everything was automatic!

Later on, he turns into Superman after thinking about him. Larry tries to see if there is a rocket pack on Uncle Arthur Please, one does not TOUCH the person of Superman!

Larry asks him how he did that without any wires Because I am Superman!

Selected Scene 4 This is the episode and scene that everyone talks about when Uncle Arthur tricks Darrin into thinking he can make Endora vanish. Endora (supposedly) makes Darrin unable to operate a "touch-command" door, so now Darrin is desparate enough to take Arthur up on his previous offer to teach him how to preform witchcraft.  Repeat after me; Yagga Zusie, Yagga Zusie, Yagga Zusie, Zim! All Darrin needs is a duck-caller and noise makers.  He must use those at the end of every sentence if he wants Endora to disappear. He is standing in front of Endora and about to sit down, when Arthur, anxious for Darrin to make a fool of himself, moves the chair back, causing Darrin to fall and, of course, blame Endora for pulling the chair out from underneath him. Arthur doesn't start laughing hystarically until Darrin throws in his own words, "Zumma, Umma, Pits! " He then proceeds to rattling the noise maker and using the duck-caller. Uncle Arthur's laughter gets Sam's attention. She asks if he had anything to do with the way Darrin just acted. Best one ever! Zumma, umma, pits!

Selected Scene 5 Darrin does not want to get out of bed because of a mistake made by the printshop that Larry blames him for. Arthur and Samantha decide to eavesdrop on Darrin and Larry after Arthur gives Darrin a "good luck charm" for more confidence. Larry still refuses to be reasonable He's the kind of man who throws a drowning man BOTH ends of the rope!

Hollywood Squares

One thing Dear Abby says never do in bed  Point and laugh

A reason for pounding meat  Oh, loneliness

Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy Why, that bitch

Paul, in what famous book will you read about a talking ass who wonders why it's being beaten I read it, "The Joy of Sex"
According to the old song, "At night, when you're asleep, into your tent I'll creep." Who am I?
The scoutmaster?

I Dream of Jeannie

Selected Scene 1 Tony and Roger have been asked by  Hollywood director, Mr. Kerr,
do a scene where they are to land on the moon, but Roger can't seem to control himself. I'm sorry if there's been some confusion, but Major Healy is King Clod!

Later on, after the director returns, he thinks he can finally shoot the film without Roger there to spoil it. Roger returns minutes later ready to work. I came to Cape Kennedy to make a documentary in three days. You're turning this into "War and Peace!"...One note: Please don't ACT, Major Healy! Do whatever comes natural.

Roger starts gliding in the air and does not land where or when he's supposed to. Major Healy, we're not doing "Peter Pan!"

Selected Sence 2 As Commander Porter, he is convinced that the food that Tony and Roger eat is garbage, and he intends to prove it when Tony and Roger opt to go  on a survival mission with him. (As usual, Jeannie tries to help, by blinking up a roast turkey and mashed potatoes) Do you smell roast turkey and mashed potatoes? (Tony says "No,"because  if they smelled it, that would  be a hallucination) Yeah, you'reright. (He  smells it again) No, I don't smell iit.

Later on, Jeannie returns and blinks a giant chicken. Porter is on the phone with Dr. Bellows at the  time. Sorry, Dr. Bellows, I can't hear you on account of the giant chicken. (Giant chicken? Take my advise: take two aspirin and stay away from Major Nelson and Major Healy)

Send Me No Flowers
Selected Scene 1George (Rock Hudson) is convinced that he only has two weeks to live, so he sees the funeral director, Mr. Akins about purchasing a burial plot at Green Hills We suggest that the whole family go out and select a final resting place. The kids love it, they have a ball! Chance of any little ones along later? (No, but there might be another man along later.) Oh, you want this to be a surprise! It makes a very nice gift!

Mr. Akins lets George know about future plans for Green Hills There's plans to build a State Highway that would go right through Green Hills, maybe not until 1980, but that's not definite yet. George asks why he is telling him this. Well, we'll either move you to a different location or bury you deeper under the freeway. George comments that Mr. Akins must really enjoy his line of work. Sure do. Wouldn't do anything else. I like people!

Selected Scene 2 Mr. Akins stops by George's house to give him the deed to the three "reservations" that he made earlier that day. He accidentally tells George's wife (Doris Day) about  the "surprise!" Doggone it! I could just tear my tounge out! He wanted this to be a surprise!...There are reservations for another man. He was very thoughtful!

Charlotte's Web

Selected Scene 1 Charlotte, Wilbur, and Templeton are at the fair and Charlotte keeps giving Templeton things to do, but he would rather be stuffing his face. I came to this fair to enjoy myself, not to deliver papers!
Earlier on, the Goose (played by former Bewitched nemisis Agnes Moorehead) promised Templeton that if he accompanied Wilbur and Charlotte to the fair, he would have all he could eat when the lights were shut. The time comes and he is mesmorized by the amount of food he sees lying around. The Goose was right...this fair is a rat's paradise! Bye, bye my HUMBLE Wilbur! Fare thee well Charlotte, you old schemer! This will be a night to remember!

The Munsters
Selected Scene 1 Herman brings Eddie (who is so embarrassed, he has a paper bag over his head) to Dr. Dudley with an unusual problem, even for the Munster family...10-year-old Eddie has grown a beard after Grandpa gave him a potion that was supposed to help Eddie grow taller, NOT grow a beard!  What, I mean who have we here? (Faintly, he answers "Edward Wolfgang  Munster) What? I didn't quite get all that. (He starts to remove the paper bag when he notices the beard) How old is little Eddie Wolfgang? Herman says Eddie is ten. Dr. Dudley pulls out some pills and throws them in his mouth How long has he had it? Herman replies, "Oh, the head? That's the original." The BEARD!

Paul's TVLand Schedule (EST)                            Movie Schedules Link
I'm not going to waste my time looking up the dates when Paul is on because this page only gets about 2 or 3 hits a week. If you would like me to post Paul Lynde's schedule, please say so in the guestbook (located on the Homepage.) Thanks for checking, anyway!

Check out this guy!
If you can, get a chance to see Michael Airington as Paul Lynde!
Where: Ultra Suede

People have remembered this genius since January 10, 2004
   Quick Links
-Hollywood Squares-
-I Dream of Jeannie-
-Send Me No Flowers-
-Charlotte's Web-
-The Munsters-
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At 662 North Robertson Blvd West Hollywood, CA 90029

Dates: Friday Aug 13 @ 8pm , Aug 14 @ 7:30pm, Fri Aug 20 @ 7:30pm, and Fri Aug 27
*I am well aware that these dates are old...I'm just leaving them up so if anybody is interested in Michael's work, you know where to find him!
This woman, Jan, was Paul Lynde's best friend in high school. (People thought she and Paul were related because their teeth were similar.) The man standing next to her is Michael Airington, the man who acts as Paul Lynde in the show. He is holding one of Paul's actual trophies.
Come see Michael Airington as Paul Lynde!
Where: Palm Springs Heaven
When: (2005) Friday, March 18, Saturday, March 19, & Sunday March 20 all at 9:00PM, with seating starting at 8:00PM
If you have the opportunity to see his performance, don't miss it! It's gotton great reviews! (See above)
If you have a hard time reading those reviews, I'll post them below, so you'll have an idea of how good Michael is:
Michael Airington nails the essence of the late, great Hollywood Squares comedian.--ADVOCATE.COM
Airingting's prodigious talent almost makes us believe that the take-no-prisoners comic, who died in 1982, has been reincarnated in all his vitriolic, quick-witted glory.--FRONTIERS MAGAZINE
***He is covincing that, in some way, Paul Lynde really is the one standing on stage. In some ways, he is.--INLA MAGAZINE
A marveliously  entertaining and informative show...definitely one to watch.--BILLY MASTERS

News about Michael's Paul Lynde show: He is going to be in New York City some time in 2006! I'll keep everyone posted on dates/times! Here's some more photos:    (Check out this character of Michael's See DAME EDNA in the DC link for date & times.
The Paul Lynde Show Starring Michael Airington

Liz and Paul (from Bewitched)
Paul talks with KISS
Paul with KISS
George Michael