Selected Scene 1 Samantha, Serena, Arthur and Tabitha have all lost their powers Uncle Arthur is trying unsuccessfully to light a match without using witchcraft Tricky little devil. I know it's a match. After all it's on a short stick and it has a little red top. But how do you light it without witchcraft?
A few minutes pass by then suddenly, he thinks he has it figured out Wait a second...here it is. "Close cover before striking." So simple. He closes the matchbook then begins pounding the match and screaming LIGHT! He finally gives up. Must be faulty!
Later on, Sam takes Arthur and Serena out to see their new place of employment Looks like a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to work there
Their new manager is annoyed because Arthur and Serena are waving to the crowd that has gathered around to watch them make Chocolate-Nut-Dipped Bananas My good fellow, we find that we can both dip and wave
Selected Scene 2 Endora has made a house appear out of nowhere. Arthur wants her house to vanish completely Resign yourself, Sally Sunshine, you've just moved out!
Selected Scene 3 Samantha tries to get Uncle Arthur's mind off his problems by teaching him how to drive. She mentions that everything is automatic now. Uncle Arthur almost gets them into an accident with another car, but Sam uses he magic to divert the oncoming car. (Why didn't you stop?) You said everything was automatic!
Later on, he turns into Superman after thinking about him. Larry tries to see if there is a rocket pack on Uncle Arthur Please, one does not TOUCH the person of Superman!
Larry asks him how he did that without any wires Because I am Superman!
Selected Scene 4 This is the episode and scene that everyone talks about when Uncle Arthur tricks Darrin into thinking he can make Endora vanish. Endora (supposedly) makes Darrin unable to operate a "touch-command" door, so now Darrin is desparate enough to take Arthur up on his previous offer to teach him how to preform witchcraft. Repeat after me; Yagga Zusie, Yagga Zusie, Yagga Zusie, Zim! All Darrin needs is a duck-caller and noise makers. He must use those at the end of every sentence if he wants Endora to disappear. He is standing in front of Endora and about to sit down, when Arthur, anxious for Darrin to make a fool of himself, moves the chair back, causing Darrin to fall and, of course, blame Endora for pulling the chair out from underneath him. Arthur doesn't start laughing hystarically until Darrin throws in his own words, "Zumma, Umma, Pits! " He then proceeds to rattling the noise maker and using the duck-caller. Uncle Arthur's laughter gets Sam's attention. She asks if he had anything to do with the way Darrin just acted. Best one ever! Zumma, umma, pits! Selected Scene 5 Darrin does not want to get out of bed because of a mistake made by the printshop that Larry blames him for. Arthur and Samantha decide to eavesdrop on Darrin and Larry after Arthur gives Darrin a "good luck charm" for more confidence. Larry still refuses to be reasonable He's the kind of man who throws a drowning man BOTH ends of the rope!
One thing Dear Abby says never do in bed Point and laugh
A reason for pounding meat Oh, loneliness
Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy Why, that bitch
Paul, in what famous book will you read about a talking ass who wonders why it's being beaten I read it, "The Joy of Sex"
According to the old song, "At night, when you're asleep, into your tent I'll creep." Who am I?
I Dream of Jeannie
Selected Scene 1 Tony and Roger have been asked by Hollywood director, Mr. Kerr,
do a scene where they are to land on the moon, but Roger can't seem to control himself. I'm sorry if there's been some confusion, but Major Healy is King Clod!
Later on, after the director returns, he thinks he can finally shoot the film without Roger there to spoil it. Roger returns minutes later ready to work. I came to Cape Kennedy to make a documentary in three days. You're turning this into "War and Peace!"...One note: Please don't ACT, Major Healy! Do whatever comes natural.
Roger starts gliding in the air and does not land where or when he's supposed to. Major Healy, we're not doing "Peter Pan!"
Selected Sence 2 As Commander Porter, he is convinced that the food that Tony and Roger eat is garbage, and he intends to prove it when Tony and Roger opt to go on a survival mission with him. (As usual, Jeannie tries to help, by blinking up a roast turkey and mashed potatoes) Do you smell roast turkey and mashed potatoes? (Tony says "No,"because if they smelled it, that would be a hallucination) Yeah, you'reright. (He smells it again) No, I don't smell iit.
Later on, Jeannie returns and blinks a giant chicken. Porter is on the phone with Dr. Bellows at the time. Sorry, Dr. Bellows, I can't hear you on account of the giant chicken. (Giant chicken? Take my advise: take two aspirin and stay away from Major Nelson and Major Healy)
Send Me No Flowers
Selected Scene 1George (Rock Hudson) is convinced that he only has two weeks to live, so he sees the funeral director, Mr. Akins about purchasing a burial plot at Green Hills We suggest that the whole family go out and select a final resting place. The kids love it, they have a ball! Chance of any little ones along later? (No, but there might be another man along later.) Oh, you want this to be a surprise! It makes a very nice gift!
Mr. Akins lets George know about future plans for Green Hills There's plans to build a State Highway that would go right through Green Hills, maybe not until 1980, but that's not definite yet. George asks why he is telling him this. Well, we'll either move you to a different location or bury you deeper under the freeway. George comments that Mr. Akins must really enjoy his line of work. Sure do. Wouldn't do anything else. I like people!
Selected Scene 2 Mr. Akins stops by George's house to give him the deed to the three "reservations" that he made earlier that day. He accidentally tells George's wife (Doris Day) about the "surprise!" Doggone it! I could just tear my tounge out! He wanted this to be a surprise!...There are reservations for another man. He was very thoughtful!
Selected Scene 1 Charlotte, Wilbur, and Templeton are at the fair and Charlotte keeps giving Templeton things to do, but he would rather be stuffing his face. I came to this fair to enjoy myself, not to deliver papers!
Earlier on, the Goose (played by former Bewitched nemisis Agnes Moorehead) promised Templeton that if he accompanied Wilbur and Charlotte to the fair, he would have all he could eat when the lights were shut. The time comes and he is mesmorized by the amount of food he sees lying around. The Goose was right...this fair is a rat's paradise! Bye, bye my HUMBLE Wilbur! Fare thee well Charlotte, you old schemer! This will be a night to remember!
Selected Scene 1 Herman brings Eddie (who is so embarrassed, he has a paper bag over his head) to Dr. Dudley with an unusual problem, even for the Munster family...10-year-old Eddie has grown a beard after Grandpa gave him a potion that was supposed to help Eddie grow taller, NOT grow a beard! What, I mean who have we here? (Faintly, he answers "Edward Wolfgang Munster) What? I didn't quite get all that. (He starts to remove the paper bag when he notices the beard) How old is little Eddie Wolfgang? Herman says Eddie is ten. Dr. Dudley pulls out some pills and throws them in his mouth How long has he had it? Herman replies, "Oh, the head? That's the original." The BEARD!
I'm not going to waste my time looking up the dates when Paul is on because this page only gets about 2 or 3 hits a week. If you would like me to post Paul Lynde's schedule, please say so in the guestbook (located on the Homepage.) Thanks for checking, anyway!
Check out this guy!
If you can, get a chance to see Michael Airington as Paul Lynde!
Come see Michael Airington as Paul Lynde!
Where: Palm Springs Heaven
When: (2005) Friday, March 18, Saturday, March 19, & Sunday March 20 all at 9:00PM, with seating starting at 8:00PM
If you have the opportunity to see his performance, don't miss it! It's gotton great reviews! (See above)
If you have a hard time reading those reviews, I'll post them below, so you'll have an idea of how good Michael is:
Michael Airington nails the essence of the late, great Hollywood Squares comedian.--ADVOCATE.COM
Airingting's prodigious talent almost makes us believe that the take-no-prisoners comic, who died in 1982, has been reincarnated in all his vitriolic, quick-witted glory.--FRONTIERS MAGAZINE
***He is covincing that, in some way, Paul Lynde really is the one standing on stage. In some ways, he is.--INLA MAGAZINE
A marveliously entertaining and informative show...definitely one to watch.--BILLY MASTERS